Sunday, June 29, 2014

Bum Leg Two

Bum Leg Two


   Just a couple of other ways my loving and caring wife has shown her support over the years.

   Some of the first few legs I had the foot was held to the bottom of the leg with just a bolt. I really like those because I could change the foot and be able to wear different kinds of shoes, one for flat soles like work boots and one for high soles so I could still wear cowboy boots. The bolts were made of stainless steel so you'd think they would be really strong, however, with my ability to beat the edges off a steel ball with a rubber hammer I seemed to be able to find the weak points.

   We stopped off at a little grab-it-and-run store to get something to drink one summer day. Dorris and I both hoped out and went into the store same as we always did with no problem. Wondered around gathering up stuff with no problem. Got up to the counter to check out, no problem. Headed back to the car with the stuff, no problem. Opened the door and stepped out on the sidewalk, Problem! The bolt holding the foot on broke.

   I couldn't pick my foot up because it would fall off and if it did it was going to rough trying to get back to the car. Thank God there weren't to many people around so it wasn't quite so embarrassing as I shuffled along, sliding the foot along the pavement with it doing a slow spin. At least it wouldn't have been if not for Dorris busting out laughing at the way the foot was spinning around. Even that would not have been so embarrassing if only she hadn't of started pointing it out to other people! I did appreciate the one guy coming over and offering to help, maybe I would have appreciated it more if he hadn't been laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. Gotta love the support and sympathy I got.


   We belonged to the Jaycees for awhile. I really enjoyed being part of that group and the things we did. One of my favorite things was to go to the meetings and events of other chapters. It was really fun getting meet so many different folks and the best part was the volleyball. I loved playing volleyball back then and the neat part was even though I really got into the game and played hard the were very few people outside our own group the knew I had an artificial leg!

   We were at a regional meeting so there were lots of people which meant we had no problem getting a game going. One thing about both Dorris and I, we are just a little on the competitive side, against each other as well as others and since we were the ones that got the games going most of the time we end up being on opposite sides. I tended to prefer playing in the second row because from there I could set up the front row and still be able to get in and cover the net if needed. I had a really good team and we were kicking but against the one Dorris was on which wasn't making her very happy.

   It was her teams turn to serve and she stepped up to help cover the net as the ball came over. Perfect timing for me. The ball came low over the net right to me and I decided to show-boat a little by jumping as high as I could an trying to slam the ball right down toward her. My plan even worked, kind of. I jumped high, I hit the ball hard, it cleared the net, the landing didn't go so well. When I came down I twisted the fake lag and fell down. When I hit the ground my leg came off.

   There I was laying on the ground with my leg off but the only people that knew I was really OK was my own group because they had see me do the same thing before, and Dorris. I will admit it did look kind of funny. You couldn't tell it was an artificial leg  because the top half was still covered by my jeans but there was no doubt that the one leg was about 6 inches longer than the other and twisted backward. Most of the other players were just standing there staring at me with shocked looks on the faces and I'm pretty sure that at least one woman was screaming. I remember at least a couple of people starting over to help me from the sidelines but the main thing I can remember is Dorris yelling "he's down, the nets clear, SPIKE that ball!"

   It took a little explaining before everyone understood that no, my leg wasn't broke and No, Dorris was not a heartless bitch that only cared about winning...


   Speaking of Jaycees - The first convention I went to had some fun points thanks to a Nut form another chapter. A lot of shared rooms in order to save money and it always seem that the room I was sharing with the Nut seemed to be one of the most popular ones for folks to gather in. I'm not sure how we got on the subject but the people in the room got to talking about sports, which led to athletes and who could do what which some how led to the Nut betting everyone in the room that I was so limber I could keep one foot on the floor and touch the ceiling with the other. Of course no one believed that since the ceiling was 8 feet above us and of course after having a few drinks there were several people that took him up on the bet. What can I say, I was all for it and thought it was just funnier than hell (I was one of the ones that had had a few drinks) As soon as everyone quieted down the Nut came over and stood next to me at which time I reached down, popped my leg off and stuck the foot on the ceiling. Lots of confused people there. Not because of what or how I did it, they were just confused as to weather we'd won the bet or did that count as cheating..